90’s in Jamaica, NY …
I was a shy quiet girl who didn't know know how to express myself.
My taste in music was very eclectic. I could listen to anything from Phil Collins to Janet Jackson and New Edition to Nine Inch Nails.
Even though I liked R&B and rap, I gravitated more towards alternative music, jazz and other genres.
A nerd during school hours. A day dreamer at night. Yeah chal, I never felt like I fit the bill.
Living in Jamaica, Queens, I did not match the culture of what people thought a 10 year girl would be interested living in the hood. Quirky, awkward, social anxiety like it was no ones business. A regular semugular fegular girl. I was trying to figure it all out.
Can you resonate? If not, it’s totally fair to stop reading right here and find something else more worthwhile for you. Just a couple of months ago, my feelings would have been hurt. But not today.
But if this was you ( and still may be ) welcome to your new space! I get you boo! Maybe not the exact upbringing but the interests, the feelings, the awkwardness, the diverse taste in music and culture, low confidence growing up, all of that. I never had this space growing up. It's so important now as you go through “life” to see the importance of self acceptance and being comfortable in your own skin.
Am I there yet? Heck no! Not even close. But guess what? Each day, I work on it. It’s a journey and a process. It’s not easy and I’m not going to sit here and lie to you. But the thing is, you push and try to become your better self right? That's all anyone can ask of you. But over time, you will learn to appreciate your uniqueness and your quirkiness.
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Chicas and fellas, till next time!
Zeina Blue xoxo