If you've came this far from clicking the link from my Instagram bio, glad you joined the party!
I have a low attention span such as many. So lets dive in.
So lets face it. At one time or another, most of us found ourselves seeking validation or approval from others. We may have looked for reassurance from those who have our best interest at heart to see if we are on the right track with a business idea, thought or even an outfit we may need feedback on. This in itself is fine since we may to need to do some re thinking or fine tuning that will eventually benefit you for the good. HOWEVER ...
Have you learned only to depend on ALL approval and validation from others? If this is the case, you've come to the right place! We all have room for improvement chica ( And chicos ;-)
Below are three ways why you may be seeking validation.
1. Not Having a Sense of Identify
If you are not clear on who you are as a person, what you believe in and what you represent, you most likely fall into relying on others to identify the above for you and ONLY seeking their approval on all aspects of your life. This is so dangerous. You can be molded by other peoples opinions, beliefs, acceptance and become a carbon copy of someone who you yourself won't even recognize.
2. Not Happy In Your Own Skin/ Lack of Self Confidence
Not happy with who looks back at you in the mirror is one sign of not being content with how you feel about yourself. Now lets be honest, that can be many of us. There are some things about ourselves we would like to improve in a healthy way. And then there is the extreme. "I'm too dark, or I'm too tall". The list can go on and on. Do you try to change your outer appearance to appease and get the approval of others? A severe lack of self confidence can be most harmful to an individual to reach out for validation to extreme measures and loose their identity which can also tie in with point number one. Embrace your beautiful complexion, glow in it mamacita! Accept your stature that characteristics about yourself that makes you unique beauty. If others can't appreciate it, its time to make new friends honey. Surround yourself with folks who appreciate you.
3. Body Image/Body Shaming
Body shaming is the act or practice of humiliating a person based on their body type. If this resonates with you, you are not alone. This nasty behavior seems to have worsen in these times of social media. It's not just girls or women going through this but also teenage boys and men are subject to this type of abuse. And it applies to both sides of the spectrum, weather you're more curvier than some of less curvier.
So if we know this is the case, don't give your opponent fuel to their already twisted way of thinking. Own and love your look, raise you head with confidence and validate yourself! They can't throw shots at you if you are the queen of your own castle! It won't work!! If you are happy with who you see reflecting back at you in the mirror, uhhmm, that's all you need. Easier said than done, I get it. It takes a mind shift to get to this point and can be accomplished over a period of time and with the right support of people who got your back.
A special thank you to Desiree Jenkins for allowing me to use her gorgeous photo for this special blog post as well as Lucas at LucasPicturesNYC photography. Please follow Desiree @desireejenkins on Instagram for some dope lifestyle visuals.
NOTE: If you feel that these feelings are even deeper than you care to admit to, and feel like you may need help, please consult with your doctor about these issues. He or she can lead you into the right direction of professionals who are medically trained to help you to feel your absolute best so you will no longer need to seek the validation from others in a unhealthy way.